10/21/15 Language of the Listener
"Speaking in the language of the listener" is critical to having effective communication. If we are to grow in that endeavor, 1 Peter 3:15 gives us the foundation for doing so:
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts
and be ready always to give an answer
To every man that asketh you
a reason of the hope that is in you
with meekness and fear:
We often seem to have an over riding tendency to speak in the way we think, rather than the way others do so. To the listener, what the speaker says is actually what is heard or perceived, even though the information or spirit of the communication might be very different than what was intended.
John 17:17 gives us the way to mature, or be sanctified. It is::
Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
As we have been, and continue to be sanctified by the Word of God, we will be ready to give a scriptural answer to anyone who asks a reason of the biblical hope within us. Matthew 21:22 assures us that the Holy Spirit will teach us what to say. As we have hidden God's Word in our heart, He will bring it to our remembrance. When we use His Word, Isaiah 55:9-10 promises that anytime the Word of God goes forth, it will always accomplish the purpose for which it was intended. When we hear a statement or question, immediately we must ask God "What does Your Word have to say on this matter?" God will bring to mind a very specific Scripture that directly speaks to the issue at hand, in the language of the Listener, Who heard our prayer, and in the language of the listener, to whom we speak. Therefore, as an ambassador for Christ, who is seeking to see each individual as God sees them every activity of daily living, we are to begin praying for them when God places them in your path.
So, just what is meant by the "language of the listener"? In what ways may we identify
it, so that our communication be profitable and edifying? How does one discern the "language"
of another? Earlier, we have discussed scriptural praying, which is essentially "speaking the language of the
Listener" by speaking God's mind and purpose as revealed in His Word. To understand another person,
it is the asking of sensitive questions that will provide an excellent opportunity to discern their "language".
The questions asked should be, from the outside (physical) to the inside (heart), because we're attempting to discern their "language", that is, where they are in their thinking. For example:
- "How does the Dr. say you are doing?"
- "What was the accountants solution?"
- "Can you help me understand that difficulty?"
- "How are you doing with all of that?"
- "What is the greatest need that I could help with?"
- "What have you found most helpful in dealing with this?"
- "Where are you in your spiritual journey?"
- "What has helped you most relating to your faith?"
- "Can you share with me your understanding of knowing peace with God?"
(Note that any question that will be effective must always lead to a conversational answer,
rather than a simple "yes" or "no". Therefore, engender answers by "What?","How?", and
"Can you help me to understand?".
Their answer in response to our sensitive questions will give us an understanding of their thinking, which
determines their language.
...as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:.. Proverbs 23:7
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth
forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil
treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil:
for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
Luke 6:45
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Proverbs 4:23
Their answers may reveal long-standing bitterness, or forgiveness. They may reveal a spiritual gift of compassion or one of organization. Conceivably, impatience or rebellion may be seen. Spiritually, they may accurately demonstrate their understanding of God's plan and purpose in a trial, or a misunderstanding of the same.
It is important in speaking the listener's language to sensitively ask if that makes sense to them or if they understand what you are saying. When talking about physical matters, always use the very wording they use. If they talk of a tumor, it is important not to respond with talking about cancer. The " tumor"' might well be non-cancerous. If they speak of being afraid, don't assume you know what it is that they fear. Ask them what they fear. It's easy to put ourselves in their place and talk about what our fear would be rather than what theirs actually is. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 states :
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
who comforteth us in all our tribulation,
that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble,
by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
Therefore, it is crucial to avoid saying, "I would be worse than you if this was happening to me". What kind of hope does that give? If we are to effectively communicate biblical hope in the midst of human crisis, it is crucial that all that we say ministers grace to the hearer. (Ephesians 4:29) If we are to cooperate with God, our response to difficulties would be the promises of God in His wisdom, grace, and comfort. To respond with "I'm so sorry" , while intended to demonstrate compassion, may be seen as our disagreement with God's sovereign decision.
The passages of hope that God gives us to extend to others are of His wonderful promises of His presence, His all sufficient grace, and His comfort. All of our communication should point others to Christ, in evangelism or edification.
(C) 1992, 2015 N.A.Collins Limited copy permission for one personal file copy
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts
and be ready always to give an answer
To every man that asketh you
a reason of the hope that is in you
with meekness and fear:
We often seem to have an over riding tendency to speak in the way we think, rather than the way others do so. To the listener, what the speaker says is actually what is heard or perceived, even though the information or spirit of the communication might be very different than what was intended.
John 17:17 gives us the way to mature, or be sanctified. It is::
Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
As we have been, and continue to be sanctified by the Word of God, we will be ready to give a scriptural answer to anyone who asks a reason of the biblical hope within us. Matthew 21:22 assures us that the Holy Spirit will teach us what to say. As we have hidden God's Word in our heart, He will bring it to our remembrance. When we use His Word, Isaiah 55:9-10 promises that anytime the Word of God goes forth, it will always accomplish the purpose for which it was intended. When we hear a statement or question, immediately we must ask God "What does Your Word have to say on this matter?" God will bring to mind a very specific Scripture that directly speaks to the issue at hand, in the language of the Listener, Who heard our prayer, and in the language of the listener, to whom we speak. Therefore, as an ambassador for Christ, who is seeking to see each individual as God sees them every activity of daily living, we are to begin praying for them when God places them in your path.
So, just what is meant by the "language of the listener"? In what ways may we identify
it, so that our communication be profitable and edifying? How does one discern the "language"
of another? Earlier, we have discussed scriptural praying, which is essentially "speaking the language of the
Listener" by speaking God's mind and purpose as revealed in His Word. To understand another person,
it is the asking of sensitive questions that will provide an excellent opportunity to discern their "language".
The questions asked should be, from the outside (physical) to the inside (heart), because we're attempting to discern their "language", that is, where they are in their thinking. For example:
- "How does the Dr. say you are doing?"
- "What was the accountants solution?"
- "Can you help me understand that difficulty?"
- "How are you doing with all of that?"
- "What is the greatest need that I could help with?"
- "What have you found most helpful in dealing with this?"
- "Where are you in your spiritual journey?"
- "What has helped you most relating to your faith?"
- "Can you share with me your understanding of knowing peace with God?"
(Note that any question that will be effective must always lead to a conversational answer,
rather than a simple "yes" or "no". Therefore, engender answers by "What?","How?", and
"Can you help me to understand?".
Their answer in response to our sensitive questions will give us an understanding of their thinking, which
determines their language.
...as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:.. Proverbs 23:7
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth
forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil
treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil:
for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.
Luke 6:45
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Proverbs 4:23
Their answers may reveal long-standing bitterness, or forgiveness. They may reveal a spiritual gift of compassion or one of organization. Conceivably, impatience or rebellion may be seen. Spiritually, they may accurately demonstrate their understanding of God's plan and purpose in a trial, or a misunderstanding of the same.
It is important in speaking the listener's language to sensitively ask if that makes sense to them or if they understand what you are saying. When talking about physical matters, always use the very wording they use. If they talk of a tumor, it is important not to respond with talking about cancer. The " tumor"' might well be non-cancerous. If they speak of being afraid, don't assume you know what it is that they fear. Ask them what they fear. It's easy to put ourselves in their place and talk about what our fear would be rather than what theirs actually is. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 states :
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
who comforteth us in all our tribulation,
that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble,
by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
Therefore, it is crucial to avoid saying, "I would be worse than you if this was happening to me". What kind of hope does that give? If we are to effectively communicate biblical hope in the midst of human crisis, it is crucial that all that we say ministers grace to the hearer. (Ephesians 4:29) If we are to cooperate with God, our response to difficulties would be the promises of God in His wisdom, grace, and comfort. To respond with "I'm so sorry" , while intended to demonstrate compassion, may be seen as our disagreement with God's sovereign decision.
The passages of hope that God gives us to extend to others are of His wonderful promises of His presence, His all sufficient grace, and His comfort. All of our communication should point others to Christ, in evangelism or edification.
(C) 1992, 2015 N.A.Collins Limited copy permission for one personal file copy